The loss of a loved one can be devastating, whether it’s the loss of a human being or an animal you have suffered those feelings can be hard to bear and quite overwhelming at times.
Taking the time to focus on your wellbeing at a time when grief is sometimes all consuming seems like the last thing on your mind.
Everyone experiences grief differently, some people feel it immediately, others several weeks or months later, some not at all or maybe not as much as they had expected, there really is no right or wrong way and you shouldn’t feel guilty if you do not experience the same level of grief as somebody else.
It does not mean that you mourn that loss any less, it is simply that we all process things differently and at different times. People often told me that I needed to go through five or seven different stages of grief to ‘do it properly’ I looked this up but felt that I did some stages and not others so did that mean I was doing it wrong? It was very confusing to me.
I lost my beloved dog in the same year I lost my amazing mum, I couldn’t work out why I seemed to be feeling the loss of my dog more than my mum, was there something wrong with me? Some people told me I was wrong to mourn my dog more than my mum (one even said to me ‘it’s just a dog’!) well he wasn’t ‘just a dog’ to me; he was a member of my family. It was because of the all the confusion I was feeling that I spoke to a counsellor myself (yes even I do that at times) and she allowed me the time to talk through my thought process in dealing with two massive losses in one year and clarify how each passing had affected my daily life, with her non-judgemental guidance I have been able to move forward, live with my grief and understand it better.
Talking to a counsellor in times of grief can be very therapeutic as quite often those closest to us may not be the best people to lean on for a multitude of reasons.
I would welcome the chance to walk with you through your experience if you would allow me to.